Orchideous
by the saltiest train
Summary: John couldn't think of anywhere else he would rather be. Except maybe inside the castle, rather than in the pouring rain. It could be worse, at least his robes had an Impervius charm on them. Potterstuck!
1. Letter

**A/N: Homestuck does not belong to me, it belongs to Sir Andrew Hussie, nor does Harry Potter belong to me either, and if I were to claim it or any of it's characters i would be in full violation of copyright law. Full authors note at the bottom**

John Egbert was but a simple boy, with bright blue eyes, and skin the color of milk tea, and flyaway black hair, glasses and a slight overbite. He grew up in a loving household, along with his father and his sister, Jane. He had no mother, his father always told him that she passed away when he was very young. Jade couldn't remember much of her either, even if she was a year or two older than John.

The fact that John had no mother did not bother him, his dad took well enough care of him. However, he suspected his father and sister's love of pastries was something that his mother influenced. John himself had a dislike of the stuff himself, and avoided it whenever possible. Jane constantly told him that he was crazy, but then would proceed to give him a good-natured hair ruffling.

Now, for this simple boy, today would be but a simple day, if it weren't for the excitement that he was experiencing, at the anticipation of his Hogwarts letter.

Dreadfully sorry, did I forget to mention that?

Jonathan Egbert came from a family of wizards. His father was a wizard, and as for his mother, he was not sure. However, he did know that both he and his sister Jane had inherited the ability of wizardry form their father. His sister, was now going into her third year at Hogwarts. He himself, was going to begin his first year. And he was ecstatic.

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"Jaaane! When is my letter gonna come?" John Egbert whined as he lay sprawled across the length of his couch.

John's sister was named Jane, and her skin was just the same color as John's, if not a bit lighter. He hair was black, and went just below her ears, and curled forward at the ends. She had large, round glasses that were always in pristine condition, over her bright cyan eyes.

Jane 'tsk'ed, and crossed her legs, from when she was sitting in the armchair across from the couch, reading 'Hogwarts, a History.' She looked up and her bright cyan eyes were shining with amusement.

"Be patient John, we don't even know if you'll get your letter." she said, as a mother would to he impatient child, as she turned another page. John sat up so quickly, he ended up sliding right off the couch and onto the floor, flailing his arms all the while.

"What do you mean? Of course 'm getting my letter!" he shouted in protest. Jade closed her book and set it to the side.

"Oh? Didn't you know?"

"Know what?!"

"That sometimes, the headmaster forgets to send letters."

John looked like he had been smacked. "Especially with students who have older siblings."

"Nuh-uh!" John protested.

"Yuh-huh." Jade said and grinned, and john crossed his arms and stuck his bottom lip out.

"Oh stop doing and and act your age. You ARE eleven now, John."

John's pout only worsened.

"Oh, you." Jane sighed. She then, stood up, and walked over to her brother. She crouched down next to him, and the proceeded to tickle him **mercilessly.**

John was laughing uncontrollably as his sister giggled and continued to tickle his sides, messing up his hair further as he squirmed like a slippery frog in a three-year-old's hands. Just as John was about to reach the point of yelling, the screech of an owl was heard from outside the window that was behind the armchair jade was previously sitting in. They both looked up quickly, and scrambled to their feet. Jane rushed to the window, and opened it, and let the Barred Owl inside.

"Look what Batter has John~" Jade sang as she took the two letters from the owl. She gave it a pat on the head, and then turned to John, holding up two letters, sealed with wax bearing the Hogwarts crest. John's eyes went even wider than they were, and lunged for the letters. Jade sidestepped him, and he slammed into the windowsill. Jade snickered, and John moaned in pain. She handed him one of the envelopes, the one addressed to him. His pain was almost instantaneously forgotten as he took he envelope and ripped into it. Jane took her time in opening hers.

John read over the letter with a look of joy and excitement, that slowly turned into confusion. "What's wrong John?" Jane asked, having just finished her letter, and noticing her brother's look of confusion.  
"It doesn't say what house I'm going to be in..." John said, turning over the letter, looking for where it would say he would be. Jade chuckled.

"Oh John, you don't figure that out until the sorting ceremony." she told him. He looked up at her.

"Sorting ceremony?" he asked, slightly terrified.

"Yes, It's when you get sorted into one of the houses in front of the **entire school**." she explained, a Cheshire cat grin forming on her face.

"W-what do we have to do?" John asked.

"Well, it involves fighting a troll..." Jade said. John nearly fainted.

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That evening, when Jane, John and their father were finishing supper, father informed John of the REAL process of the Sorting Ceremony, much to his son's relief. John turned to Jane.

"So, all of your friends are in different houses, right?" he asked. Jade thought for a moment, then answered.

"Well, the're all in different houses than I am, but Jake and Roxy are both in Gryffindor." she explained. "Dirk is in Slytherin."

John looked slightly alarmed.

"Doesn't that mean he's a dark wizard?" he said. Jade opened her mouth to correct him, but was cut off as her father chuckled instead.

"No, it simply means his cunning, resourceful and ambitious, according to definition. Nothing exactly evil about them." his father explained. "They simply have a bad reputation." John relaxed a bit.

"Hey dad?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"what house were you in?" John inquired, cocking his head to the side a bit. Dad smiled, and responded.

"I was in Ravenclaw." he said, then turned to Jane. "Jane, don't you and your friends have some sort of bet going on? On which houses your younger siblings will all be in?" he asked. Jane nodded.

"Dirk keeps saying his little brother will be a Hufflepuff, but Roxy and Jake think he'll be in Gryffindor. Personally, I think he's more of a Slytherin." Jane explained. "Most of us think Jade will be a Hufflepuff, but Jake keeps saying that she's more of a Gryffindor. We all agree that Rose is totally a Ravenclaw." Jane elaborated, using various hand gestures as she did so. "And, well, none of them have ever met John." she said, casting a somewhat apologetic look at him. He shrugged.

"I'm sure I'll meet them at school." he said.

"Yes," Dad said. "Or maybe Jane could make a plan to meet up with her friends when you go to get your books and supplies at Diagon Alley?" he suggested, looking at John then at Jane. Jane's face broke out into a huge grin.

"That sounds great! I'll go write a letter!" she exclaimed, then stood up and rushed from the table, her hair flouncing as she absconded, leaving her dinner behind.

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**A/N: Well chiddos, how was that. Not terrible, I hope. I do certainly hope I didn't make too many atrocious spelling errors. This is also my very first time writing Homestuck, and I'm actually very nervous about it. So, if you have any constructive criticism, or anything to say really, leave a review, please. I would like some input on how to improve my writing, and the characters I write. Also, if you have any questions about anything, let me know, please. I'd be more than happy to answer them for you. w**


	2. Diagon Alley

The day Jane had scheduled the Diagon Alley trip arrived, and John was bouncing with excitement as he got ready. He'd been to Diagon Alley before, but he was going to get his Hogwarts supplies, and that's what made this trip so exiting!

When he was ready, he ran downstairs, to find Jane and his father waiting. Jane looked very nice, with her short black hair shining and neatly tucked behind her ears, and her glasses sparkling as usual. She was wearing a robe that matched her eyes. She was making pancakes, (the muggle way, as she claimed it to be 'more fun') and his father was reading the Daily Prophet.

"Now children," their father began, "I'm going to give Jane the money you'll need, because I have to go to work." he explained.

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John stepped out into the streets of Diagon Alley, taking in the sight of people bustling along the stone streets, going in and out of shops and talking in the streets. John always loved visiting Diagon Alley, seeing all of the brightly dressed witches and wizards bustling about. The lovely scents that came from each shop, ranging from sweets to potion ingredients to old books to the smell of the animals. Jane soon stepped out after him, and looked through the crowd. She spotted something, and grabbed John's hand.

"Over there!" she said excitedly, as she dragged him over in front of one of the stores, where three people were standing talking.

One of the people had spiky blonde hair that was parted to the left, that stuck up slightly. He had pointy, triangular sunglasses, and pale skin that was dotted with the occasional freckle. He had an orange muggle hoodie, and muggle jeans on.

He was talking to a boy with skin just a shade or two darker that John's own, with messy dark brown hair, emerald eyes and spectacles. He had dark blue robes on. Like John, he had a slight overbite. Next to the blonde boy, a girl was sitting.

She had strawberry blond hair, and happy pink eyes. Her hair was parted somewhat to the right, and swirled off in a little spiral. Her hair reached just to her shoulders, where it turned up at the ends slightly. She had a long scarf in red and gold, with dark pink robes on. She was looking out in the crowd too. When she spotted Jane, her eyes seemed to light up with excitement.

"Look guys! It's Janey! It's Janey!" she exclaimed, hopping up and pointing to John's sister. Jane smiled and ran over to the three on the bench. The two boys looked up, and the one in blue broke into an enormous smile, and the one in orange's mouth quirked up at the edges. The girl bounced up to Jane, and enveloped her in a huge hug. "Jaaaaneeey! I missed you _soooo_ much!" the girl squealed, squeezing Jane tightly.

"R-Roxy, I-I-I cant bre-" Jane sputtered, turning light blue.

"Hey Rox, I don't think little Jane can breathe over here." the one in orange said. The girl, Roxy, had her face drop a bit.

"Oh!" she released Jane, and she began to gasp for breath. "I'm sorry Janey!" she said worriedly. "are you alright?"

Jane looked up, and smiled.

"I'm fine Roxy. I missed you too."

Then the person in dark blue stood and gave Jane a tight, but not suffocating, hug.

"Oh it IS wonderful to see you again Jane! How have you been! I've missed you something dreadful!" he said. He had the most ridiculous accent John had ever heard, and he had to restrain himself from laughing.

"It's great to see you too, Jake." Jane said, hugging him back._ Oh, _John thought. _So this is Jake English. _John knew that Jane had had a huge, but now expired, crush on Jake for two years. John's train of thought got de-railed when the orange one spoke.

"Hey there Crocker." he said. John was aware that Crocker was a nickname she had received from her friends for her love of baking. Apparently, it was Roxy who gave it to her, being a muggleborn witch, and apparently it was the name of a popular muggle cake baker. Jane turned to the orange one, after Jake had released her form the hug.

"What is it Strider? Don't I get a hug?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips and turning to him. John connected the dots, and realized that this was Dirk Strider. Dirk smirked as he stood up and walked over to Jane, and gave her a small hug. Jane gave him a much bigger hug in return.

John wondered how this bunch managed to get know each other. As Dirk released Jane, he noticed John.

"Hey Jane, is that your little brother?" he asked, looking at John. Or, at least John thought so. He couldn't really tell through Dirk's pointy anime shades. John gave him a smile, as Dirk seemed nice enough. Jane looked over her shoulder at John, as if just remembering that he was there.

"Oh, yeah! Guys, this is my brother, John!" she said, grabbing john's hand and dragging him forward. Dirk gave him a nod of the head, and a smirk. Roxy flounced over to him. John felt a bit nervous, as if if he were being judged. He glanced away, but then felt his cheek being grabbed. He turned his head, to see Roxy smiling widely, squealing, and pinching his cheeks rather hard. They were being pulled, and John didn't like it one bit, and struggled.

"OOOoooOOO! Janey, he's sooo Cute!" Roxy gushed. After some struggling, John managed to break free.

"Ow!" he said, patting his now red cheeks. He looked up when he heard footsteps approaching. Jake English was now in front of him, offering his hand out for shake. He could hear Roxy giggling.

"Good day, chap! It's smashing to finally get to meet you at last! Jane's told us so much about you! I'm Jake English!" John took his hands, and was surprised at how strong Jake English was. He was practically bouncing up and down with the force of the shake. Jake released his hand and smiled.

"I'm John," John said.

"Hello there John!" Jake said brightly. "Oh!" he exclaimed suddenly, causing John to jump. "You've got to meet Jade!" he looked around. "Oh where did that girl get to?" he asked, huffing impatiently.

"They went over to Olivanders, remember?" Dirk pointed out. A look of comprehension dawned on Jake's face.

"Oh! Well, we'll just go there then." he said decisively. He looked down at John. "You need a wand, too, do you not?" he asked. John nodded. He DID need a wand, and to be quite honest, he was looking forward to getting a wand the most. Jake grinned. "Well then, It's decided!" he announced. He turned away and began walking to Olivander's, Dirk turning on his heel to follow. Roxy quickly followed, dragging Jane by the hand. Jane turned around and smiled, and used her other hand to beckon John to come with. John followed, wishing that he could have friends like Jane had.

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They arrived at a small shop that John knew to be Olivander's due to the fact that it was clearly marked as so in two places on the stores exterior, and that he had passed it many times in his childhood. He was giddy with excitement. He was finally going to get his own wand! Was his going to be white like Jane's? Or brown like his fathers?

John went in before Jane or any of her friends, and the bell on the door jingled. He was in temporary awe of how many wands there were, cramped into shelves. It was an extremely dusty shop, with shelves upon shelves of wands.. He then noticed the three kids standing in the shop, as well as an older gentleman. He could only see the children's backs, but two turned around as the bell rang. Once they turned around, John could make the connection between them and Jane's friends.

One of the girls had strawberry blonde hair, like Roxy's, that was just a bit longer than Jane's. it was straighter than his sister's too, and was pulled back with a headband. Her eyes were the color of an 'orchid' crayon you might find in a child's pencil box. Her skin a light tan. She had black lipstick on, and it matched her black robes.

Next to her, there was another girl, one with long brown hair, that looked thick and slightly tousled. She had big round glasses, like Jane, and big, bottle-green eyes. Her front teeth were resting on her bottom lip slightly, and her skin was nearly identical to John's. She had emerald green robes on.

The other one didn't even acknowledge the bell. He had on muggle clothes: a shirt with three-quarter sleeves that were red, like the collar, with the rest of the shirt being white. He had on black skinny jeans. His hair was an extremely light blonde, and in the right light, John could have mistaken it for white. His skin was pale, and John could see freckles on the skin where the shirt didn't cover.

He was taking something from the older man, who hadn't noticed the bell either. The boy picked it up, and John could now see it was a wand. It was long, smooth and made with black wood, Ebony, John supposed. From what John could see of the handle, it looked like it was in a thick 'S' like shape, with small, featherlike protrusions along the top and bottom curves of the 'S'. It was very pretty, and John again began to wonder what his wand would look like.

"Hmmm… fifteen inches, ebony, and with a phoenix feather core." The man looked up, and motioned with his hands. The boy flicked the wand, and bright red sparks sprung from the tip. The old man nodded. "Ah yes, that's the one," he mused, taking the wand from the boy.

The boy paid the old man for the wand, and then turned around. John could now see that the boy had freckles on his face as well, and his eyes were covered by large sunglasses. He looked at John (or at least turned towards him; he couldn't really tell through his sunglasses). John felt a little uneasy, but offered a small smile. The boy nodded at him.

The bell rang again, and Dirk walked in. The boy looked up at him, and offered a small smile. Dirk smiled, in return.

"Well, do you have it then?" he asked. The boy held up his wand, and walked over to Dirk. He then handed the wand to him, and he looked at it. _Oh, _John thought, _The boy is probably Dirk's brother. _"What's the core?" Dirk asked.

"Phoenix feather." the boy said.

"That wand's really cool, Dave!" Jade said, eyeing it along with Dirk, Jake and Roxy. Dirk then handed it back to the boy, Dave, who put it in his front pocket.

The two girls that were in the shop when John came in walked over to where everyone was standing. Jane seemed to remember something as they approached.

"Oh! John, these girls are Jade and Rose, Jake and Roxy's little sisters." she explained. "And the boy is Dave, Dirk's brother." John wondered why he didn't make the connection before. The blonde girl, Rose, extended her hand for a shake.

"Nice to meet you, John. Jane has told us loads about you." she said, smiling. John decided that he liked Rose, and smiled back. .

"Nice to meet you too!" he said, as Rose released his hand. The other girl, Jade, then offered her hand for a shake. John took it, expecting a small shake, similar to Rose's, but he soon found out that that would not be the case, as his hand was enclosed in an iron grip, and shook vigorously.

"Hi John! It's super duper cool to finally meet you!" she said excitedly, a huge smile on her face. John then decided that he liked Jade as well, and gave her a smile back.

'Yeah, you too!" he said. Jade stopped shaking his hand abruptly, and turned to Dave, who lingering close to his brother. She huffed, and grabbed his hand, and dragged him over to John.

"This is Dave, and he's being an antisocial loser." Jade said, pointed at Dave. Dave scoffed.

"I am not." he said to Jade, then looked at John.

"What's up?" he asked.

John didn't exactly know how to respond to that question.

"Erm.." John tried. "Hello?" he tried. Dave smirked. _Is that good or bad? _John wondered. He then realized he didn't have much time to dwell on that, as Dave laughed

"That was totally smooth." he said. John felt like he was being made fun of, huffed and frowned. Dave noticed this. "Oh hey, sorry man," he said quickly and apologetically, placing a hand on his shoulder."You seem pretty...Cool." he added, taking his hand off John's shoulder and smiling slightly. John gave him a smile in return. John then decided that he liked Dave.

The old man cleared his throat.

"Pardon me," he said, "but do any of you need wands?" he said, and he looked slightly irked at the fact that a group of kids and teenagers were standing chatting in his small store. Everyone muttered apologies as they left, but Jade, Rose and Dave stayed behind. The old man beckoned John towards him. He took a silver measuring tape out of his pocket, that promptly unfurled itself. "Now," he said looking at John. John felt slightly uneasy under his gaze. "Which arm is your wand arm?" he asked, and John held put his left arm. The measuring tape began measuring.

"Your left arm?" John heard Dave comment. He turned around and offered the group a little smile. Jade and Rose giggled, and Dave smirked.

He turned back around when he heard the man shuffling around. He was looking in the

shelves. He pulled out a box and pulled off the lid.

"Try this one." he said, pulling out a rather short wand. "Nine inches, mahogany, phoenix feather." John took it, and it was immediately taken back. He could hear the three snickering. The man was looking in the shelves once again. He pulled out another box. "twelve inches, Rowan, Dragon Heartstring." He picked up the wand, and handed it to John. He wave John a vague hand gesture, and John guessed that meant he was supposed to wave it. And wave it he did. A shower of blue sparks fell out of the tip. The old man nodded. "That's the one." he said. John looked down at the wand in hand. It was a rich brown color, and had a protrusion that wrapped around the wand, with small spirals coming off of the body of the protrusion, to lay on the wand. The handle had a cloud shaped top and bottom, and in between curved inwards.

John dug around in his robe pocket and pulled out the necessary sum of money that was required to purchase the wand, and paid the man. He then turned away from the man, and walked out of the shop, followed by Jade, Dave and Rose.

Jane, Roxy, Dirk and Jake were nowhere to be seen.

"Yours has Dragon Heartstring too?" Jade asked excitedly. John nodded.

"Yeah. Is yours?" he asked.

"Yep! So is Jake's." she said, she pulled out her wand from inside of her robe. "But mine's made out of Oak." she handed it to John. It was about an inch shorter than his own, and deep brown. It was slightly curved, and the handle was rectangular, and had 'x' shapes engraved on each of the four sides. John thought it suited her well.

"That's so cool!" John said. Jade nodded enthusiastically.

"I know! But you should see Rose's." Jade said, looking at Rose. Rose laughed.

"It's not that impressive, Jade." she said.

"Oh come on Rose," Dave said, nudging her with his elbow. "You have he coolest one out of all of us." He insisted.

'Oh, alright," she said, relenting and pulling her wand out of her robe. She handed it to John. "It's fourteen inches, has a Unicorn tail hair core, and is made of Silver Lime wood." she said.

John looked at the wand, and wow, they weren't kidding when they said that it was pretty. The handle curved outwards, and has a pattern of ivy twisting around it. The bottom of the handle goes inwards to a point, from which an oblong, spherical end with a diamond-shape potrusion coming out of it. The top of the handle ends in a similar way. From the top of the handle, the wand curls around, like the horn of unicorns in picture books, into a fine point.

"Gosh Rose, that's really pretty!" John said, having no other words to describe it.

"Thank you." rose said, and took the wand. She then looked at Dave.

"Dave, we haven't gotten very good look at your wand, have we?" she said, eyeing it from where it poked out of Dave's pocket. John wondered why he wasn't wearing robes like everyone else.

"Oh, right." he said, pulling it pout of his pocket. He handed it to Rose, who took it carefully. Joh got a better look at it this time.

The wood was black, and the handle didn't look too different from when he saw itfrom afar. However, he could see a different roman numeral on each of the feather like designs. He also noticed that the sides of the wand had numerals running up and down them.

"That's awesome Dave!" Jade said.

"I agree, it suits you." Rose acknowledged, giving it back to Dave.

"It's IS awesome." John commented last. Dave looked a bit sheepish, as he smiled and said thanks to everyone.

John looked around.

"Hey, where did everybody go?" he asked, glancing about. Everyone else now seemed to notice their absence as well, and began scanning the crowds for them.

"They're over there!" Jade said, pointing over in front of Flourish and Blotts.

They walked over, and the conversation that the older siblings were having stopped.

"Hey John, did you get your wand?" Jane asked. John nodded, and handed her his wand. "This is really neat, John! What's it made out of?" Jane asked, eyeing it closer.

"Rowan. And it has a Dragon Heartstring core." he said, somewhat proudly.

"Why, mine does too!" Jake interjected, taking out his wand. "Ah, however it's made of Sycamore."

"Oh! Mine's got a unicorn hair in it!" Roxy said, whipping her wand out and brandishing it, "And it's made of leech! No... It's Larch? Yeah, Larch!" The group chuckled.

"Well, as long as it's show-and-tell," Dirk added, pulling his out. "It's Yew, and has a phoenix feather." He put it back in his jacket pocket. Jane giggled, and slid her wand out of her pocket.

"Well, mine's Beech, and has a unicorn hair in it."

This John knew, as he had to listen to her talk about it nonstop when she first got it. He rolled his eyes.

"Hey Jane," he said, getting her attention. "Don't we still have to get our things?" he asked.

"Oh, that's right!" she said, slapping the side of her head. She turned towards the group. "Hey guys, we still have to get our supplies!" she said. There was a rise f complaint from the group, but Jane shushed them and said goodbye. John said his goodbyes too, and he and Jane went to go get their things.

**A/N: MERRY FUCKING GODDAMN HALLOWEEN. This was ENTIRLEY TOO LONG and took ENTIRELY TOO LONG to write. It's a good thing I'm putting the first and second chapters up at the same goddamn time. asdlhihbrnbvas,kdjgfkhebfkdjahfjhdbv**

**Anyway, I sincerely hope I this didn't bore anyone, what with the MUCH TO MANY descriptions of things. And I also love wandlore and wands, so the descriptions of those took a while. O~o UUGH so the wand woods mean stuff, and if your curious search them AND I TOOK THE TIME TO RESEARCH THE AND AUUGH ALSO IM SORRY IF THIER TOO OOC IM SORRY PLEASE tell me what i can do to improve I MUST KNOW AUAGHEFBGL RWEUGF**

**okay bye**


	3. John Egbert and the Unfortunate Message

**A/N: PLEASE READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!**

The weeks leading up to September first were hectic, and filled with flurries of letters sent between John and his new friends. With every exchange, he got to know more and more about them.

Rose and Dave have known each other since they were infants, and they had known Jade since they were four years old. If that wasn't a relationship that stood the test of time, then John didn't know what was.

All of his friends were so cool, so _unique. _They made him feel so happy inside of himself. It made the wait to go to Hogwarts even worse. All of his friends shared his feelings on this, Dave in particular. He stated in one of his letters, _"i cannot wait to get right the fuck on out of here and on the first magic-powered metal deathtrap heading towards an ancient castle where we'll learn how to wave sticks, john. the struggle is real." _John was shocked by the initial use of profanity in Dave's letters, but soon grew accustomed to it. Rose had her own way of expressing her desire to go to Hogwarts. _"Being in an unfamiliar magical environment will be quite educational. It's a chance to understand magical thinking outside of pureblood ideals, as the only half-bloods or muggleborns I've had the chance of meeting are Jade and yourself, and Roxy, I suppose. She likes to think of herself as a muggleborn, having spent most her childhood with our muggle aunt. But we are, in fact, purebloods, despite what she might claim." _

That was what lead John to know that Rose, Roxy, Dave, and Dirk were purebloods, and Jade and Jake were muggleborn. He asked Jade what it was like living with muggles once. She responded with a long letter. He remembered some of it clearly. _"Oh wow, it's great! Grandpa and Grandma always take us on adventures all around our island! Jake's been able to do magic since no other muggles are ever around, so I have some exposure to it. But Grandma says that that doesn't mean Jake can get out of doing the dishes, hee hee! But Grandpa and Grandma always appreciate it when Jake's magic keeps us dry when we forget to bring an umbrella exploring and it starts raining! Jake also helps me grow a bunch of cool magical plants, and Grandma helps me plant pretty muggle flowers!"_

John kept each and every one of their letters in a box under his bed, and he would always go and re-read them before he fell asleep, dreaming f all of the adventures they would have together at Hogwarts.

**A/N: Okay, I can explain. My laptop broke for the longest time, and my desktop is fried. So I couldn't write for a while. Then I accidentally kinda slipped out of the homestuck fandom for a while but I'm back now! This chapter is mostl short filler to get this message out there, though. And this is the message. **_**THIS STORY IS NO LONGER GOING TO BE A JOHNDAVE STORY! **_**I am SO sorry to anyone who started reading this because they thought it would be a johndave! I started shipping DaveKat when I got back into the fandom and lost interest in johndave! I think it's gonna continue to be centered on the beta kids, though, just no johndave! Please keep reading if you want but if you don't I'll understand! **

_**I'M SUPER SORRY, BUT THANK YOU FOR READING THIS/CONTINUING TO READ THIS IF YOU ARE!**_


	4. The Author & Another Unfortunate Message

** Okay. So I have legit no actual excuse as too why I was gone for so long. I could say that school has been super stressful, and my health has been slowly deteriorating due to my not eating, but I could have been better at updating this- I really could have.**

** I'm also gonna say this right out- my headcanons for the characters have changed- so I'm considering going back and re-writing some descriptions from the first chapters. And I am SO sorry that this isn't an actual update- I _promise _to have one up by the end of this weekend! And maybe the descriptions edited. **

** HOWEVER- a wonderful artist, namely **_**sabbatsalubri, **_**has drawn wonderful fanart of the beta kids' wands! The picture should still be on their blog, so you should really check that out! **

** Again- I am so sorry! So if you still have interest n this fic- I **_**will **_**have done something with it before the weekend is done!**

**-**_The Saltiest Train_


	5. Platform Nine and Three Quarters

**A/N: I SHALL DELIVER I SHALLL OVERCOME I SHALL PERSEVERE**

The morning was finally here- September first. John woke up earlier than was needed. He had already packed and double-checked that he had everything, so all he could do now was take a shower and wait anxiously for the time to depart for King's Cross. Even now, three hours before he would even get on the _train_ to Hogwarts, his belly was already bubbling with nerves and anticipation. He would finally get to go to Hogwarts! He would get to see Jade, Dave, and Rose again!

John did _not _giggle while he was having his fit of giddiness and excitement. He was _eleven, _thank you very much. Practically a grownup.

He walked over to where his new pet sat in it's cage. It was a Northern Hawk owl, a rather plump one too, that he named Pogo. Jade had gotten a toad, Rose a cat, and Dave a Eagle Owl.

He looked at it sadly through the bars on the cage. As per the rules in the Egbert household, he was not allowed to let him out of his cage before 9:00. He put his finger through a gap in the bars, and Pogo nuzzled it as well as an owl could nuzzle anything.

"Just you wait Pogo," he said, "We'll be at Hogwarts in no time at all."

…

..

..

…

..

.

John was fit to burst by the time he arrived in between platforms 10 and 9 at Kings Cross station. He knew the drill, of course, having gone to see Jane off two times before. This time it was different. This time, _he _was going to Hogwarts. He gripped the handle of his luggage trolley and ran forward to the wall. He had grown accustomed to this process- but there came a thrill with each step he took. Each time his feet hit the ground- he was one step closer to Hogwarts. One step closer to seeing his friends in the flesh again. One step closer to growing up.

He passed through the gate seamlessly, and gazed at the marvelous, beautiful piece of machinery and magic that was the Hogwarts Express. Smoke piled out of the stacks, and voices of farewell and good-riddance filled his ears. He took it all in. He gazed around, seeing people he had seen before in Diagon Alley. He saw people he had never seen before as well.

A pair of twins- John guessed- a boy and a girl, were being talked to by a large man in black robes. The man had a stern and commanding look in his eyes, and the male child of his held a similar look in theirs. Something odd John noticed though, was while the female twin had light brown hair, the male had hair black as pitch.

Another thing worth note, is that they all appeared to have some odd tattoo on their cheeks. Some sort of swirl, or something. John assumed it was a traditional family thing, or whatever. He didn;t pay that much attention as he scanned the crowd for his friends.

He turned around as he heard Jane's voice.

"Don't worry dad, I'll take good care of John." she affirmed. John turned and Jane and their father walked up to him. John's father put a hand on his son's back.

"John," he said, voice kind, proud, and fatherly. "My boy, already off to Hogwarts." He smiled at John, then knelt down to give him a hug. "Make me proud, son." he said. John nodded.

"I will." and he returned the embrace.

Their father nodded, then looked at the clock. He frowned, then turned to Jane.

"Jane, you'll be entering your third year now. " he gushed, oozing pride and affection. "I need you to keep out of trouble, deal?" he said. Jane laughed out a 'yes' and embraced their father. Who then walked towards the gate. "Goodbye kids! I'lll write to you!"

Then he vanished. Jane turned to John.

"Well John, how does it feel to finally be going to Hogwar-"

"DIRK STRIDER." somebody screeched, halting quite a few people going about their own goodbyes. Jane groaned, and John looked around. He saw Dirk, in his muggle hoodie, pointed glasses and jeans again, being approached by one of the twins he saw earlier. Dave was next to him, and slightly moved behind Dirk, very subtly, however, you could miss it if you weren't paying attention to Dave.

Which, given the circumstances, not many people were. Either have forgotten about the event, or paying attention to the conflict.

Dirk looked down at the boy, who was nearly a foot shorter than he was.

"Oh, Caliborn. It's you."

"Don't you 'Oh Caliborn' _me_ you cunt, _what_ are you wearing?!" he demands. Pushing his finger into Dirk's chest. Dirk shrugged.

"Clothes?" he asked. Caliborn growled.

"Fucking _muggle _clothes, that's what you're wearing." he hissed, very snakelike.

"What of it Caliborn?" Dirk asked, nonchalantly. Dave looked at him.

"Bro-"

"You, Dirk Strider, are disgracing your house." Caliborn persisted, pressing his fingertip harder into Dirk's chest. "Wearing disgusting clothes like those filthy muggles and mudbloods." He quickly brought up hs second hand and grabbed the material of the muggle jacket.

"Listen, Caliborn, I get you're super big on all that 'your house is like your family' crap, but you have absolutely no right to tell me what I can or can't wear, or what I'm supposed to think about muggles." He stated, in the Dirk-Fashion, calm and collected, yet intimidating.

John was extremely impressed.

"Oh, and Caliborn, you can let go of my jacket, people might get the wrong idea."

When Dirk said this, almpst instantaneously, Caliborn's face turned o red you couldn't make out the red swirls on his cheeks, as he let go of Dirk's coat and stepped away as if he had been burned.

"God DAMN you Strider!" he shouted, than ran away. Dirk exhaled. John and Jane approached him. Dave stepped out from his position semi-behind his older brother.

"Bro what the _fuck_ were you thinking?" You know pulling shit like that could-"

"I _know-_" Dirk snapped, and Dave's body language said he was slightly taken aback. John had no doubt that his own eyes were wider than a cauldron. Dirk sighed. "I know, Dave." He smiled slightly, and ruffled Dave's hair. "Sorry, I'll fix things up at school."

Jane walked up behind Dirk.

"Quite the spectacle there, Strider." She smiled, then frowned and hit him across the head. "You absolute buffoon!" she admonished. "You know better than the mess with Caliborn like that!"

John was lost.

"Uh, Jane? Who was that guy?" he asked. Dave and Dirk turned to him. Dave smiled, and Dirk shrugged.

"Caliborn English, an elitist douchebag soaked in pureblood ideals." he explained.

"Son to one of the most famous dark wizards of all time." Dave added. Jane glared at him. Then she added,

"He's also the poster-boy for Slytherin house, what with all his money and grades."

John frowned, he thought that Slytherin's _weren't _dark wizards.

Dirk must have known how to read minds, because next he said,

"Don't worry blue boy, not all of us are like that. Sure, we ain't really ones to cuddle up next to a fire with you like the 'Puffs, but some of us aren't that smarmy." he grinned.

John laughed a little and Dave approached him.

"What's up, Egbert?" he said as greeting. John beamed.

"Hi Dave!" he said, bouncing on his heels. "Do you know where the others are?" John asked.

"Yeah, Lalonde's this way, we'll just have to get your stuff in the compartment." They began walking off, when they heard a girl's voice.

"U-Um, excu-use me?" she asked. Dave and John turned to see Caliborn's twin sister talking to Dirk and Jane. "I'm sorry abou-ut my brother. I hope he didn't give you too mu-uch trou-uble or cau-use a scene." she said. Jane smiled.

"It's fine Calliope, you don't need to apologize on his behalf."

Calliope smiled.

"Well, I better go find some hou-use mates, goodbye." she said as she walked off. Dave and John turned to each other.

"Wow, talk about Jekyll and Hyde." Dave said.

"Who?" John asked as they began putting his possessions in the train.

"Nevermind. Muggle thing."

_Hm, _John thought. _For being a pureblood, he sure knows a lot about muggles. Heck. He even wears muggle clothes. What's up with that?_

"Yo Egbert," Dave called over his shoulder, holding Pogo's cage. "You boarding the train of waiting for it to depart?"

"Oh," John snapped out of his thoughts and went up to the first step. He took a deep breath and thought, _I am going to Hogwarts. _Before climbing aboard the train.

**A/N: Hello and good evening. I am willing to bet 60 dollars that if you read that last chapter, YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING ANOTHER THIS SOON AHAHAHAAHAAHa ha ah ha ha h a**

**Yeah but surprise! I guess! This surprised me, too. **

**The quality might not be as good as the previous chapters because I wrote it with the worst headache known to human and trollkind alike. **

**Thanks for the wonderful follows, reviews, and favorites!**

**(Ya'll should keep that up just btw)**

_-The Saltiest Train_


	6. A Journey Aboard the Hogwarts Express

**A/N: yo**

John followed Dave through the corridor. He looked around in awe. He was on the _Hogwarts Express. _He felt giddy, nervous, and he felt so _ready. _He let his vision wander to inside of the train compartments, were he saw students talking, laughing, and reuniting. As he was observing everything and everyone, he was not, however, observing Dave, and therefore did not notice that he had stopped walking.

"Whoa there," he said as you bumped into him. John looked at him, and you saw your own reflection in his sunglasses, and a small smile on his face. "Pay attention to where you're going, yeah?" He admonished. John laughed. He slid open a door to one of the compartments, and he stepped inside. John followed quickly after him.

Inside John saw Rose, already in her Hogwarts robes, sitting and gazing out the window with her hand on her cheek. She had on dark lipstick, like the first day John met her. She turned at the sound of he compartment door opening. She smiled widely at the sight of John and Dave, and stood up. She walked over to John and gave him a hug, and Dave slipped into the compartment behind her.

"Oh John, it's wonderful to see you!" he said, hugging John tighter and then letting go and stepping back. "How have you been?"

"Great! I mean, it's been so _hard _waiting to see you guys again!" John said, grinning at Rose. He looked behind her. "Where's Jade?"

"She's not here yet," Rose said, sitting down next to Dave. "But she'll be here soon. He has a reputation of being late." she adds. Dave snicked.

"Late? Remember the time she showed up almost 45 minutes late to your birthday?" he asked. Rose giggled, and John knew he was missing something. _Ah, _he thought, _these guys have been friends for years. _He felt a slight pang of jealousy in the back of his head before he shook it off. He sat down on the opposite side of the compartment. The seats were very plush and pleasant.

"Eager, Rose?" Dave asked. John looked over to them. Rose's cheeks were slightly pinked.

"Oh grow up, Strider." she said, pushing Dave slightly. "I know you want to change into your robes just as bad." she grinned. "You told me, remember.?"

Dave's cheeks filled with color, John almost laughed, but didn't out of respect for Dave.

"I believe you said, '_Lalonde, I can't wait to put on my fancy ass robes and_ _prance around an ancient castle waving a stick around._'" Rose elaborated. Dave put his head in his hands.

"Oh my god, you actually remember the exact words." he deadpanned, his voice carrying a small strain of despair. Rose laughed, and John couldn't help it, he did too.

The laughter had quieted down, and Rose's demeanor changed. She turned so she was facing Dave straight-on.

"Also David," she began, her voice radiating authority and purpose. "What was that business outside? With your brother and Caliborn?" she asked.

When asked that, Dave seemed to stiffen slightly. He glanced towards John, a subtle head twitch that could otherwise be missed.

"Uh, Rose? Maybe I'll tell you later, yeah?" he said, his vice now carried a distinct note of discomfort, and Rose seemed to catch on to why, as she looked to where John was.

"Oh, yes, of course."

The compartment fell into an awkward silence. Dave cleared his throat.

"Uh, Rose, me and John, we're gonna change into our robes now." Rose stood up quickly.  
"Of course." she said. Dave fished around in his pockets and pulled out a few Sickles. He handed them to Rose. "Get me something from the trolley, yeah?"

Rose scoffed, took the money, smiled at Dave fondly, then left the compartment.

John felt very lost.

…..

…

…..

..

It was at 10:55 that Jade came bursting into the compartment, startling Rose, Dave and John out of their conversation about house placement.

"I'm here!" Jade breathed out, panting. "I made it!" she said, throwing herself down next to John. She turned to him and gave him a large, bucktoothed grin. "I'm probably gonna give you real bone-snapping hug in a few," she said to John. "Just let me catch my breath first. Rose laughed.

"What happened this time, Jade?" she asked. Jade sat up.

"Hold that thought." Jade requested, holding up a finger. She turned to John, then threw herself bodily at him.

"JOHN! I'm sooooo happy to see you again!" she yelled, squeezing the living daylights out of John.

"Uh- Jade- I can't- uh" he tried to say. She eased up and let go, smiling broadly at John.

"Told ya." she said. She threw herself back onto the seat and put her hands behind her head. "Soo, what'cha guys talkin' about? She asked. Dave took a bite out of his licorice wand.

"House placement." he said, still chewing. Rose scoffed and reached a hand beneath his chin and pushed upwards, shutting his mouth.

"We were discussing which house the Sorting Hat would put us in." she elaborated. She gestured to Dave. "This buffoon thinks he's worthy of Ravenclaw."

Dave swallowed his candy.

"Stuff it Rose, I could totally make Ravenclaw."

Jade giggled.

"What about you John?" she asked. "I know Rose has been advocating for Ravenclaw since we met." she added. John shrugged.

"I don't really know. I just.." he tapered off. Jade leaned closer.

"Just what?' she pressed, grinning.

"I-I just don't know what to think about Slytherin." he admitted, looking away. Jade and Rose laughed and Dave's head snapped towards John.

"Dirk's a Slytherin, you know." he said, somewhat aggressively. John almost flinched.

"I know, I mean, I just-" John stuttered.

"Not all Slytherins are dark wizards, if _that's _what you're afraid of." Dave snapped. "Not everyone is like that dick Calibo-"

"I think," Rose interrupted. "That John is just worried about a combination of the house's reputation, and what he saw outside the express earlier." She soothed, putting a hand on Dave's arm. Dave seemed to relax. HE turned to john, his cheeks stained red from previous anger and embarrassment.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Sorry John."

John grinned. And with a wink, added, "Not a problem."  
And with that, the Hogwarts Express departed.

…

…..

…

…..

John opened up a chocolate frog. He took the card out.

"Rowena Ravenclaw, huh?" he asked. Rose looked up from where she was reading and leaned across the divide between seats to pluck the card out of John's hand. She looked at it, the slipped it into her pocket.

"I didn't have her yet." she said calmly, returning to her book. John pouted and mumbled,

"Yeah, I didn't either."

Dave snorted and Rose hit him with her book.

….

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…..

.

.

Jade gazed out the window and she wondered aloud,

"How many times do you think you've seen the same bird twice?"

Dave hissed.

….

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.

.

..

"Hey Rosey, what'cha reading?" Jade asked. Rose turned a page.

"Hogwarts; a History." she said. Dave looked over at the book and Rose snapped it shut. Dave laughed and said something that sounded like, 'splendid charmwork on that cover.' But John thought that couldn't be right.

Rose turned red and put the book away.

….

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.

….

Rose's cat, Cthulhu, had come out from beneath the seat, and was trying to eat John's Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans.

"No, bad kitty. No." John said, pushing the cat away towards Jade, who scooted away.

"Ick, keep that cat away from me!" she yelled. Rose shook her head, and laughed.

"Not much of a cat person, eh Jade?" John asked, picking up Cthulhu and holding her out towards Jade, who backed up against the window.

"Ewww! Keep it away!" she yelled. Dave sighed.

"Honestly, it's like you're part dog."

….

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..

The train stopped, and all four kids looked up from their two-on-two (Jade and John vs. Dave and Rose, Dave and Rose in favor,) game of Wizard Chess, and looked out the window. They knew where they were.

**A/N: ITS COMING THE SORTING ITS C O MING IM NOT PREPARED I STILL NEED TO FIGURE SOME JAZZ OUT AGUGUSHHHSefACAASDV**

**but anyway, THERE**

**I had some difficulties with this chapter at first, tbh and I think its pretty crap at the beginning.**

**But you know**

**following/faving/commenting **

**is _not _crab, just btw**


	7. The Long Awaited Sorting Ceremony

John stepped of the train, his robes swishing behind him. Everywhere there were kids, all in black robes, some embezzled with a house crest, some with only the Hogwarts crest upon them. He looked to his left, where Jade's bright green eyes were shining behind her glasses, wherein the reflection of the distant castle lights were reflected with crystal clarity. He turned his head to the right, and saw Rose gazing up at the castle in awe similarly, and the stars shining brightly in Dave's sunglasses. He saw that Rose and Dave linked hands, and he smiled.

He turned his gaze to the centerpiece of the evening. A large castle in the distance, windows glowing and stars shining above it, blanketed by a dark blue sky, like a masterpiece. The castle's reflection wavered in the lake, gentle ripples moving the stars and castle's image. It was truly a sight to behold.

He felt a warmth engulf his hand and he looked down to where his hand was being gripped by Jade's own. She smiled at him with a brightness to rival the stars that night. He smiled back.

"First years, over here!" someone called. "First years!"

Near the bank of the river, a young man was holding a long pole with a lantern atop it. He's a young man, and it's hard to determine his features, but he has facial hair.

John, Rose, Dave, Jade, and the other first years flock to the lantern man. He gestures to the boats and says, "Four to a boat, mates." He then climbs in one himself. "I'm the groundskeeper here, Hussie's the name. Doubt we'll see much more of each other, tragic as it is." he turned to the first years. "Also, there's a giant squid somewhere in here, be careful."

Mixed reactions from the first years followed this, ranging from 'a WHAT?!' to a particularly exited young girl yelling "really?!'

John and company piled into a boat, the third in the queue. John looked at his companions.

"We're doing this." John said. He couldn't believe he was finally going to Hogwarts. Dave and Rose nodded, and Jade squealed with excitement. Dave opened his mouth to speak, but from infront of them the heard a loud splash.

They all scrambled to the front of the boat, and they all gasped.

A large tentacle was protruding from the lake, dripping water back in. The top of the pink appendage was wrapped around a soaking wet girl, who's laughter could be heard over the sounds of the screams. One of the boys on the boat in front of John yelled,

"FEF! W-WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT JUMPIN' IN THE LAKE!" He spoke with a Scottish accent.

The girl, Fef, John guessed, was still laughing as the tentacle lowered her into the boat and retreated under the water. John and company were watching in awe as the girl continues to laugh, rung out her hair, and put pink glasses on her face. She looked Hawaiian, and had dark freckles across her dark skin. The boy that was scolding her was tan, and had red hair that fell into his face, due to the fact that it was wet, and glasses.

"Oh, calm down Danny!" Fef said, tossing her hair back over her shoulder, flicking 'Danny' with droplets of water. He flinched. "I just wanted to see the squid!" she proclaimed. "Besides," she added, looking over edge of the water. "I think he likes me!"

….

…

….

.

…

.

When the first years were outside of the great hall, they were stopped by a dashing young woman with long raven hair, green eyes, and a kind smile. A small girl with short hair of the same color squeaked, and started pouncing from foot to foot. The woman who greeted them smiled kindly.

"Good evening," she said happily, "and welcome to Hogwarts!"

The first years cheered and clapped.

I am Dianna Leijon. Teacher of transfiguration and head of Hufflepuff house." she introduced. "Now, when you go through these doors, the sorting will begin." she said, official. "You go up to the stool when your name is called, sit down, and plop the hat on your head," she mimed doing so, "And viola!" she said with gusto, and jazz hands for effect, "You're sorted!" She finished. Most of the children laughed. She turned towards the door. "Ah, looks like the song is done." she said. "Don't worry my purrties," she assured, rolling her 'r.' "You'll hear it next year!"

And she opened the door to the Grand Hall.

And Grand it was, with four long tables on the ground, candles levitating in the air, filling the room with a welcoming glow. An even more extraordinary, was the ceiling, or lack thereof. The entire roof was a perfect resection of the sky outside. It took John's breath away.

Ms. Leijon stood by the stool and opened up a roll of parchment. She cleared her throat.

"Ampora, Eridan." she called out.

The boy that Fef had called Danny, somewhat shyly, took a seat on the stool. The hat was placed on his head, and it called out,

"SLYTHERIN!"  
The house burst out clapping, and the other houses clapped politely, but there were a few 'boos' heard from the Gryffindor table. Once it had quieted down, Ms. Legion spoke again.

"Captor, Sollux."

A tall, pale, and lanky boy with black hair and blue glasses, and two-colored ye sauntered up to the stool. The hat was placed on his head.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat announced.

"Egbert, John!"

_Oh crap, _John thought. _That's me. _He gulped nervously as he approached the stool. Ms. Leijon smiled at him, and he sat down. The hat was placed on his head.

_Hmmm? What do we have here? _He heard a voice in his head, and started. _Oh, calm now, it's only the hat. Now lets see... Hm... Ah, I sense fear? Fear of being placed in Slytherin. Well, that's not very Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw of you... Well, better be..._

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat called out. John felt himself go cold. The hat was taken off of his head, and he stood up, and as if in a trance, made his way to the clapping Slytherin table. He heard his name get called.

"Yo, Egbert!"

He looked to where it came from, and saw Dirk, in his robes this time, smiling and gesturing towards him to come. John approached and sat down. Dirk slapped him on the back. "Never thought you had the makings of a snake." he commented. John nodded.

"Yeah. Snake." he muttered. Dirk looked down at him, pointy sunglasses and all.

"Hey kid, don't worry. The better Strider has got your back here, yeah?" he offered. John smiled, slightly reassured, and Dirk gave him a small one in return. "Now lets watch this sorting."

John nodded and turned to the ceremony again.

"English, Jade!"

John's attention snapped to where Jade was. She practically ran up to the stool. She plopped down and reached up and pulled the hat onto her head. Only when she realized what she'd done that her face turned red, and not a second later, the hat bellowed,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

And the table bust out in cheers and clapping, as Jade ran to it. John and Dirk laughed.

"Knew it." Dirk commented. "That girl is a thoroughbred Lion, that's for sure." John laughed and nodded.

"Lalonde, Rose!"

And Rose walked toards the stool. Her face was slightly red, and her hands were buried in her robes. She sat down briskly. The hat was placed on her golden tresses.

"RAVENCLAW!" It shouted. Rose smiled brightly and went to her table.

"No surprise there." Dirk and John said in unison. They laughed.

"Leijon, Nepetea!" Ms. Leijon announced, a larger smile on her face than usual.

The small girl with the raven hair from earlier ran up to the stool, but instead of sitting on it, she hugged her mother. John could see the resemblance now. The catlike eyes and smiles, and the creamy skin color.

Ms. Leijon patted her daughter on the back, and then Nepeta sat down, an the hat was placed on her head. The hat called out,

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Nepeta stood up, hugged her mother once more, and ran to the Hufflepuff table, and the whole hall burst out into cheers and laughter.

"Leijon, Karkat!" she called next. Dirk whistled.

"Gee, four kids? That's a bunch." He remarked.

"Four?" John asked. Dirk nodded.

"Nepeta, Karkat, Meulin, and Kankri." he said. John nodded and looked over to the stool. A boy with dark brown hair and dark skin approached it. He didn't look much at all like his mother, with an unpleasant scowl and narrowed eyes.

The hat was placed upon his head for but a second when it announced,

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

And Karkat stomped off to join his housemates.

"Makara, Gamzee!"

An absurdly tall boy with dark skin, and a crazily large blond mane of hair strolled up to the stool.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Maryam, Kanaya!"

A tall girl, with dark tan skin, and caramel colored hair waltzed up to the stool. John was in awe of how pretty she was, and how vibrantly her emerald eyes sparkled. The hat was placed upon her, and it's rough and worn appearance was a startling contrast to her radiance. John prayed that his face wasn't red.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat announced. And she glided off to the table.

"Megido, Aradia!"

A chubby girl with long auburn curls strolled up to the stool.

"GRYFFINOR!"

"Nitram, Tavros!"  
A boy in a wheelchair, brown skin, and a mohawk approached the stool. He smiled apologetically and Ms. Leijon smiled back and placed the hat on his head.

"GRYFFINDOR!"  
"Peixes, Feferi!"

And Fef, from the boat, still soaking wet, sat down on the stool. She grinned.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Pyrope, Terezi!"

There was silence, then a tapping, and then John could hear Dave's voice.

"Hold on Rezi, yeah, it's that way." he said.

"Why thank you, David." A slightly raspy, feminine voice responded.

A girl, with bright red sunglasses, and a blind man's cane came approaching the stool. She sat down, and gave the entire hall a wicked grin.

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat bellowed. She stood up and began making her way towards the table, with deafening cheering to accompany her.

"How does she know where she's going?" John asked Dirk. Dirk laughed.

"She could probably smell the lime from an hour away." he remarked.

John was confused, but brushed it off.

"Serket, Vriska!"

A girl with long and wavy blond hair, with blue streaks walked up to the stool. She had thin glasses and piercing blue eyes.

"SLYTHERIN!" She was pleased, and sauntered right over to the table like she owned the place.

Next to John, Dirk straightened up. He looked over to him.

"Something wrong?" John asked. Dirk shook his head.

"Nah, but if I'm not wrong, next would be-"

"Strider, Dave."

"Yeah, him." Dirk said, his eye glued to the stool.

Dave strided up to the stool in a manner that his name would be proud of. Dirk scoffed.

"He's trembling, the idiot" he remarked. John looked closer. He couldn't tell.

Must be a sibling thing.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat cried, and Dave sighed stood up. Dirk shook his head.

"Jake and Jane owe me two galleons." he said.

"Zahhak, Equius!" Ms. Leijon said, rolling up the parchment.

A tall, muscular boy with dark skin and long hair approached the stool. He was sweating profusely.

"Good evening, Ms. Leijon." he said quitely. She smilled, and he sat down. The hat was on his head.

"SLYTHERIN!" it yelled.

Equius took it off quickly and departed.

"And that concludes our sorting ceremony."

**A/N: yeah**

**thats a thing**

**If you have any feedback, or questions on house placement or anything, ask!  
Faving/commenting/following are always god too!**


	8. Dave Strider and the Hufflepuff Table

As soon as the sorting hat was placed on Dave's head, his thoughts yelled,

_Put me in Slytherin. _And he realized it, and he knew why. Considering he knew why, the Sorting Hat also knew why, and he could hear the bastard chuckle in his head.

_Slytherin, eh? Well, you certainly have some of the qualities necessary, yes. _The hat commented.

_Yeah yeah I get it, just put me there and get over it. _Dave responded snappily.

_Hmmm... No, I don't think so. _The Hat dictated, his voice scraping on Dave's mind like nails on a blackboard.

_What the hell, why no-_

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat yelled, and _oh no he did not. _

But Dave wasn't going to make a scene, if he did then everything Bro drilled into his head before he came would be meaningless. So, like a total badass, Dave plucked the hat off his head and went to the Hufflepuff table. He sat down next to that Cat kid, or whatever. Ms. Leijon's son. He watched with disinterest as the rest of his class was sorted, only a few more sorted into Huflepuff. He didn't really care anyway. When the sorting was done, and Ms. Leijon joined the other faculty at the High Table, a short, chubby woman with pale skin and pastel pink robes stood up. She smiled.

"Welcome, new students, and returning pupils." She said, gesturing to the hall. "I invite you to enjoy your feast, and get to know one another!" she announced. The hall applauded, and the scent of food filled the air.

Dave inhaled appreciatively. It smelled like every pleasant thing imaginable. Delicious ham, chicken, turkey, potatoes, and every other heavenly thing you could think of. He wasted no time in serving himself some ham, mashed potatoes, and vegetables. He poured himself a glass of Pumpkin Juice, and was preparing to gorge himself on god-tier level food, when someone tapped his shoulder. He turned, and the girl, Feferi, the one who jumped off the boat, smiling at him.

"Hey there!" she said. "Could you pass those potatoes down here?" she asked. Dave nodded and picked up the gold dish and handing it to her.

"You're Feferi, right?" he asked. She nodded, already eagerly spooning heaps of potatoes onto her plate.

"Yep! That's me!" she giggled.

"You're the one who jumped into the lake." he added. And she blushed and laughed a little.

"Haha, yeah!" she put the potatoes down, and served herself some ham. "You saw that?"

"I don't think there was a person in the entire first year who didn't." he laughed, and to his relief, Feferi joined in.

The kid to the left of him- Krabkrab? Cat-something? Tried to stifle a snicker.

"That almost gave Nep a heart attack." he commented. Nepeta, his sister, gasped and slapped his arm.

"Karkat!" she scolded, and he didn't bother stifling his laugh this time. His voice was hoarse, and somewhat high-pitched, even for an 11 year-old schoolboy.

"Karkat." Dave said aloud. That was his name. Not Krabkrab, or Cat.

Karkat turned towards Dave. He frowned slightly.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Oh," Dave said, his face pinking. "Sorry, I just, uh, remembered your name." he explained.

"Good for you." he commented, then turned back to his sister. Feferi laughed through her mouthful of mashed potatoes. Dave quickly snapped his head to his plate. _Pull it together, Strider, _Dave thought. _You're acting stupid. You're just frazzled, that's it. _He took a deep breath in, and exhaled, and began eating his food. It was still the perfect temperature.

Thank _fuck _for magic.

…

…..

…

…

"Hey Feferi, do you have something else I can call you?" Dave asked. Feferi jut seemed like a mouthful. Feferi smiled at him.

"My friends call me Fef!" she said. Then her face fell into a more somber expression, and she added. "But if you call me that, you are immediately cemented into permanent contract of eternal friendship." she said. She stuck her hand out and smiled. Dave took it and shook it.

"The contact is sealed, Fef."

…

…...

…

..

"Nep-Nep! Karkitty!"

Dave and Feferi looked to where an upperclassmen that looked almost like a carbon copy of Ms. Leijon was squeezing herself between Karkat and Nepeta. Her voice was loud. Nepeta and Karkat smiled up at her, Nepeta's smile almost ten times brighter than Karkat's. Dave was expecting them to begin talking to her, but instead they began conversing in sign language, with Meulin responding with her voice.

After a while, Meulin left them with a hug. Dave smiled. That was nice. They must have a close-knit family.

….

….

…

..

"Hey."

Dave turned to Karkat, slightly surprised to see he was being addressed by him.

"Hey." Dave said.

"Look, sorry," he said, as if it physically hurt him, "For being rude earlier." he said.

"Look, thanks but it's all coo-" Dave began.

"And maybe if you turn out to be not 100% an ass, we can be... friends." he chocked out, then turned away, and muttered something to Nepeta.

…..

…..

…

..

..

After everyone had finished stuffing themselves, and were engaging in idle chatter, the headmistress, Mistress Paint, stood up and the hall fell silent again.

"Now that everyone is, hopefully introduced, I'm afraid it's now time for the boring stuff."

Laughter drifted through the room. "Now as most of you know, the Forest is forbidden, and students caught outside of their common rooms or dorms after hours will be punished. Quittich tryouts are in two weeks." She smiled warmly. "Now, we're going to sing!" she exclaimed. Everyone in the hall groaned. The headmistress laughed. "Oh hush. Now, one, two, three!"

…...

….

…

..

.

Dave walked next to Fef, Karkat, Nepeta, and Calliope. They followed the two prefects from their house, past a large painting of fruit, to a bunch of barrels in a shadowy corner. The prefect stopped.

"Now, to all the first years, in order to get into the Hufflepuff dormitories, you knock on this barrel, in this pattern."

She tapped it in the rhythm that sounded like, hel-ga huff-le-puff, and a passage opened. The older students went filtering in, but the female prefect stopped the first years. "Tap the rhythm for me." she asked a small redheaded girl.

She tapped it, but she added an extra tap, and a barrel opened and spewed vinegar on her. The other first years yelped and stepped away. The prefect sighed and wrapped an arm around the girl, who looked close to tears. "Hey, it's okay, you'll get it." he consoled, and gave her a gentle push towards the passage. "Get in your dorm and wash up."

The prefect turned to the other first years. "Now that you know that Hufflepuff house has a defense mechanism, you'll better learn the knock." she said, and began testing the first years for proficiency again. Thankfully, no other incidents occurred, and the rest of the first years headed into the dorms. Dave sighed.

_I didn't get to see Dirk before we left the hall. _He lamented. Then he remembered why. _Yeah, he was too busy coddling John. _He thought bitterly. When he realized, he shook his head. _No. None of that. _He scolded himself, and walked into what would now be his second home.

**A/N: Hufflepuff Dave, am I right?**

**Reviews are treasured forever. **


	9. The Very Beginning of the Journey

**A/N: I CAN EXPLAIN...**

Dave woke up in a bed he knew was not his own, even though the dark kept him from seeing his surroundings; it was softer than his own, and less warm. He grumbled and sat up. He thought about asking Bro to send him an extra blanket. _Fuck that, _he thought drowsily. _I'll never hear the end of it. What time is it anyway? _He wondered, searching, in vain, for a clock in the darkness. He felt around on his bedside table for his wand.

His hand brushed against something wooden, and he grabbed it. He looked in his hand and saw that he had mistakenly grabbed his wand by the shaft. He sighed and turned it around, grabbing the wand bythe handle. He waved it around a few times. Vaguely, he remembered a spell Dirk had cast years ago during a power-out at his house. _No way in hell is this going to work, _he thought. He took in a deep breath, and was about to cast the spell when, he heard someone stir in the bed next over from his.

Karkat sat up and rubbed his face. He looked over at Dave and blinked a few times, before his eyes grew two sizes.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked. Dave looked around. _Is he talking to me? _

"Uh, I'm Dave?" Dave responded, hesitantly. Karkat squinted.

"Oh, yeah, you are." he concluded. "Couldn't recognize you without those stupid sunglasses on." he yawned. "What time is it?" Dave squinted at a clock on the far wall.

"It's.. Uhh.." he mumbled, trying to make out the hands and numerals on the clock. "Six o'five." Dave told Karkat. He heard his other housemates groan and turn over in their beds. Dave lowered his voice out of courtesy. "We have one hour and twenty-five minutes until we have to get down to breakfast," Dave continued. Karkat stared at him. "Twenty-four now." Dave amended, without looking at the clock.

"How the hell could you tell one minute had passed?" Karkat asked. Dave shrugged.

"Just something I'm good with, I guess," Dave answered, taking a small, secret pride in the fact that his odd talent had been noticed.

Dave slipped himself out of his bed, and felt an unpleasant shiver run through him when his feet touched the cold floor. He felt around for his slippers, and, finding them, put them on. Karkat looked at Dave's feet.

"Bunny slippers?" he asked. "Not very cool of you, Mr. Cool." he said.

Ignoring him, Dave walked to his nightstand and found his shades. He put them in his pajama pocket, and went over to his trunk. He opened it and pulled out his uniform and robes. He laid them over his arm, and walked to the dormitory's washroom.

…

…..

..

.

Dave stood in front of the mirror, his reflection staring back at him. He narrowed his eyes hatefully. "Goddamn it," he muttered, his voice dripping malice. He heard the door open, and he turned quickly to see who was entering.

It was Karkat, still in his pajamas, his hair messed up beyond belief, his frown as present as ever. Dave wondered if it had gotten stuck like that somehow. Karkat sluggishly trudged over to him.

"What'd the mirror ever do to you?" he asked sleepily. Dave shrugged.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Karkat sighed.

"Do you need me to teach you how to tie your tie?" he asked. Dave looked away, the tips of his ears turning red.

"N-no." he said. He was _not _going to admit that he didn't know how to tie a tie. He reached up and tugged one of the loose ends that hung around his neck. "'I just think that they're stupid." he added. Karkat scoffed.

"Sure you do. I bet you can't tie that tie." Karkat said, grabbing the opposite side of the tie and pulling on it.

"I can tie it just fine." Dave snapped, pulling his end harder, feeling slight pain due to the friction on his neck. Karkat scoffed and pulled his end, then let it go.

"Prove it." He bit back.

"Fine."

Dave grabbed the end of the tie that Karkat had dropped. He put it across the other end, and then put it through the hole it created. It didn't work. He turned red and frowned. Karkat snickered.

"Thought so." he said. Dave looked away quickly.

"Sh-shut up,"he stuttered.

"No, wait, here-" Karkat said, grabbing both ends of the tie.

"You planning on killing me, Karkat?" Dave asked.

"No." he said dryly, tying the tie quickly. Dave huffed.

"Thanks." he said. Karkat sighed and pushed Dave out of the washroom.

"Lean to tie your own tie," he said.

….

…...

….

...

Fefferi planned on upholding their contract. She intercepted Dave and Karkat in the common room on their way to breakfast, with Nepeta in tow. Fefferi stuck her arm through Dave's.

"Are you exited, Dave?" she asked. Now that her hair wasn't wet with river water, it was everywhere- it was almost too voluminous to seem real. It brushed is face, and caused Dave to wrinkle his nose a little bit.

"Yeah I guess.." Dave said. Fefferi laughed. Dave smiled.

On Dave's other side, Nepeta put her arm through Dave's, dragging Karkat's hand in her other hand.

"Hey there Davey!" she said. "Did you and Karkitten make nice?" she asked, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

"Davey?" Dave asked, indignant. Fefferi, Nepeta, and Karkat laughed. Dave blushed.

"Uh, excuse me?"

Everyone startled a little, and turned around.

Behind them, the other Leijon sister, Meulin, was holding the hand of a tall boy, with dark skin and long raven hair tied up in a ponytail. He gave them a sheepish smile. Nepeta's eyes widened.

"Horuss! Meulin!" She unlaced her arm from Dave's and practically pounced on the two upperclassmen, who laughed. Horuss used one muscular arm to hold Nepeta in place. It was almost comical, how different they looked. A small pale girl with hair that was wavy and fell just below her ears, being held by a tall fellow with smooth brown skin and straight hair that reaches his upper back, even pulled back.

It was like seeing a chihuahua on the back of a great dane.

"Hello Karkat," Horuss said as Nepeta curled into his chest and... _Did she just purr? _

Karkat looked up at them and smiled, a small crooked thing that somehow seemed precious.

"Are you guys going to breakfast?" Meuilin asked. Her voice carried like a small bell.

Karkat nodded and began to speak with her through a series of gestures. Sign language.

Dave felt a little sick. He saw how close this family was. He was absolutely, undoubtedly, jealous of the bond they shared.

Dave swallowed his envy and looked at Fefferi, who smiled at him brightly.

"You wanna get to breakfast?" she asked him. Dave cleared his throat and smiled back at her.

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking hungry."

Fefferi gasped and swatted his arm with her free hand.

"Dave!" she giggled, "Don't use those words!"

Dave chuckled as they began to walk out of the common room.

"Sure, whatever Fef."

…

.

…

.

…

Behind his sunglasses, Dave narrowed his eyes as he saw Jane talking to John at the Slytherin table. He drank a long swig from his goblet, feeling slightly relaxed at the familiarity of the flavor of the apple juice. Why is it that _his _older sibling had to be so fucking cold and distant. Everyone's siblings would hug them when they needed comfort, or come say hello to them before they began schooling.

Hell, when Dave began his first day of kindergarten, Bro just dropped him off in front of the school with nothing but an empty red backpack and a pack of sharpened pencils.

When he was young, Dirk was the only person who knew would help him when he had a nightmare. Dirk was the only person who would talk to Dave when he came home from school crying, after the kids in his class had run away from him screaming about his 'scary eyes.' The only person who would play DJ with him.

Of course, when Dirk went to Hogwarts, Dave was only eight, and when he woke up after a nightmare, he went to see Bro.

It was then when Bro said that he would _'fix that pussy attitude' _and trained him on a sword, gave him his first pair of sunglasses, and told him to always keep indifferent.

And when Dirk came back from Hogwarts, he was always too busy practicing magic and going to visit his school friends.

It wasn't until Bro made Dirk take him on one of his visits, did he meet Rose, and eventually Jade.

Dave slammed his goblet down on the table, and glared across the room at the Slytherin table. Fefferi and Karkat jumped on either side of him.

"What the heck Dave?" Karkat exclaimed. Dave looked over at him.

"Oh.. Sorry, Karkat." Dave apologized, albeit tersely.

He felt a hand on his arm and looked over to Fefferi.

"Are you okay Dave?" she asked. He sighed.

"Yeah, I guess.." he gave her a small smile. "What do we have first, Fef?"

She looked down at her timetable, but it was Nepeta who awnsered.

"Transfiguration! Mommy teaches that class!" She grinned up at the high table, where Miss Leijon was sitting next to a man who looked startlingly like Karkat, the same dark tan skin and auburn hair. However, his was laying flat upon his head, and not in a wild mess like Karkat's.

"Hey Nepeta, Karkat, is he your dad?" Fefferi asked.

"Yeah, that's Daddy!" Nepeta answered, putting some cooked salmon into her mouth and chewing it happily. Dave cringed.

"How can you and Fefferi eat seafood so early in the morning?" he asked. Fefferi speared a chunk of salmon on her fork and waved it in front of Dave's face. He leaned away.

"Ew, no, stop!"

"Ahem."

Dave looked over to Karkat, who had just cleared his throat. And it was no wonder why, he was leaning almost completely over the shorter kid.

Oh.

"Oh, sorry Karkat." He moves away from him. He clears his throat.

"Uh, thanks." Karkat says. Dave nods.

"So, uh, who do we have Transfiguration with?" Dave asked. Karkat looked down.

"Um, Ravenclaw... So that means..." Nepeta perked up.

"Kanaya!" Dave looked over and saw that same crooked-smile on Karkat's face.

Fefferi swallowed the fish she was chewing.

"Who's Kanaya?" She asked.

"Karkat's Best Friend Forever!" Nepeta explained happily. She sighed happily. "She is to Karkat, as Equius is to me, I think..." she waved her fork around. "I guess, the same way Horuss is to Meuilin and Porrim is to Kankri.." She took a bite of fish. "Our families are all really close. The Leijons and the Zahhacks, I mean. But the Maryams are our cousins, so..." she swallowed the food she was eating, and smiled. Fefferi smiled back at her.

"What about you Dave? Do you have anyone in Ravenclaw.

Dave smiled as he ate a strip of bacon.

"Yeah, Rose."

**A/N: I am VERY VERY SORRY ABOUT MY ABSENSE! BUT YOU KNOW school is really stressful and I had this awful bout with crippling depression that has not gone away yet yay! ! ! ! ! ! ! **

**Anyway, with DaveKat becoming canon and all ((**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) **)) I figured I might have to finish this ahahah**

**But I really love this story, and all the support I've gotten is AMAZING! **

**I love reviews and follows and favorites! 3**

_~The Saltiest Train_


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